See ya later, baby.

2009-07-23T15:22:31Z

Whenever I think about my life, I picture a chapter book. Even when things are currently happening in my life I can see the words unfolding on the page as if someone else was reading them. I’m the protagonist, obviously, and the whole theme is me, my life, and everything going on around me. And these especially tear-jerking chapters are just that- chapters in my life that I must endure and learn from.

My baby, Remy.

April 10 2006 - July 20 2009

My parents got Remy for me as a thirteenth birthday present. He was an adorable ball of fluff with a cold when we brought him home from the pet store on April 10^th. From then on he was my baby and I often told him that.

I would’ve never thought that I would only have him for three years.

It started a few weeks back when he had problems using the litter box and we started finding puddles everywhere. In his three years of being with us Remy never had any issues with the litter box, so we found this really odd for him. He would meow pitifully every time he peed and my dad thought he had a bit of blood in his urine, but we just assumed it was some sort of kidney stone he would pass eventually.

He was fine for the next week, even though from time to time we’d find a puddle here and there. Wednesday of last week, I caught him trying to go in our hallway. I didn’t try to pick him up (I’d of much rather just clean up one puddle than a whole trail leading to the litter box), but after for squatting for a minute or so he got up and walked away without leaving so much as a drop. When I told my dad, he said he would take a look at him.

The next day, I found Remy lying on the ground. As I usually do, I went up to him and started petting him, but when I reached his lower belly he meowed out at me and tried to swat my hand away. I put my hand gently on his belly and then called my mom to come feel. It felt like there was a round ball in his stomach.

My mom said he felt like he had an extended bladder. When my dad came home in the afternoon, Remy was still very lethargic and in pain. He told me that he was taking Remy to the Emergency Veterinary Hospital to get him checked out. I went with him.

In the car, I tried my best to mask my worry, but I couldn’t stop myself from crying a little bit. When we got there, the receptionist immediately took Remy to the back to get a routine check-up. We waited a little over an hour before the vet took us back and told us that when Remy’s kidney stone broke up, a few particles started to block his bladder.

We ended up emptying his bladder and hoping it didn’t fill back up again. After the operation we took him home. I stayed with him all night, holding him and petting him, but in the morning he was still lethargic. My mom told me to prepare for the worse.

My dad and I took him the Veterinary Hospital in Colonial Heights, where they offered to put in a catheter to let his bladder drain and let him stay there over the weekend. My dad agreed.

That night I occupied myself with my old favorite Disney movies and artwork to keep myself from worrying sick. My mom came in to tell me how sorry she was, but I told her not to worry about it.

I don’t have a religion. I believe in a God. I believe in a final resting place. And I believe that our loved ones are waiting for us on the other side. I hardly ever pray to anyone, but that night I prayed to Rusty and Peaches to keep Remy safe. I asked them to help him, but if he were to join them tonight, to watch over him.

In the morning my dad came in and told me that Remy survived the night and that we could visit him. It was Saturday.

When I, my mom, and my sister got there, they told me that he was eating like crazy and that most of the blood had drained out of his urine. They took us back and when Remy saw us coming, he started meowing and wiggling in his cage. He looked rough, but at the same time he was interacting with us and meowing. They still had his catheter in, along with an IV attached to his front left paw and a breathing tube through his nose.

He looked so sad to see us leave, but I was happy that he at least looked like he was getting better.

The rest of the weekend was spent in optimism. The vet had told us that he would be ready to go home Monday.

When Monday came around, I had a feeling in my gut that something was wrong. I told myself that I was just being paranoid and Remy would be home in my arms tonight. Around four my mom walked in and told me to come with her.

I felt that bad feeling turn into a knot in my stomach.

I didn’t look at my mom directly as we got into the car, but when she shut her door she turned to me and asked me if I wanted the bad news first. She then proceeded to tell me that Remy wasn’t coming home.

At that point I started tearing up.

She told me that my dad had called her telling him that when they pulled the catheter out, Remy’s bladder had filled back up again. When they took x-rays, they found kidney stones, that he couldn’t pass, and the operation for it was well over a thousand dollars.

By the time we reached the end of the street, I knew the end. I knew we just couldn’t afford to pay for an operation and that Remy was in pain. Really, that’s all I needed to know. I nodded, letting my mom know I understood.

It was time to end my baby’s pain.

The ride to the vet’s was possibly the longest of my life. It felt like hours before we arrived and when we got there, they took us into a private room where my dad was waiting for us. He told me to take the only seat there. I didn’t look directly at him or my mom.

When they brought Remy out, he looked fine. He was meowing and purring and pushing against our hands to get us to pet him more. He had missed us. I took him into my lap and he immediately sat down and started purring.

At this point, I must’ve looked like a wreck. I could feel a headache coming on from how hard I was crying. My mom and dad were already in tears, even though they were trying to hide it by making small talk. My mom said it was hard to see him so active and happy when we had to put him down.

We stayed like that for over an hour, just petting him and telling him that we loved him over and over again. My mom kissed him and told him what kind of house to look for in heaven (and not to tare up the furniture) and my dad told him to say hello to our old dog Clyde for us and that he was a good cat. I told them that Rusty and Peaches had probably already rolled out the welcome wagon for him.

The vet came in and asked if I was ready to say goodbye. I told her yes and she came in a few minutes later, needle in hand. She told me that it would only hurt him a little, like a bee sting, and then he would slowly fall asleep.

My baby didn’t even jump when he was given the shot. He just buried his head in my arm and went to sleep. I told him if he was scared, it was okay, because I was absolutely terrified. I whispered to him that I loved him and to wait for me on the other side. The vet came back in and I laid him out on the table. She wrapped him up in the blanket and my dad said to say goodbye.

I knelt down and kissed his head.

‘See ya later, baby. I love you.’
-----

It’s funny how when something like this happens all people can find to say is ‘sorry’. I guess it’s just the initial reaction, even if it really isn’t anyone’s fault.

The vet said it. My dad said it. My mom told me repeatedly that she was sorry.

What really got me was the fact that when we got back to car, my mom actually sobbed to me that it was her fault he died. I’ll admit that at the time I was confused. It wasn’t her fault that Remy got sick and it wasn’t her fault he couldn’t pass his kidney stones.

It wasn’t until later; I realized that she was talking about the lack of money for his operation. We’ve had to sacrifice a lot of leisure to save up the money to put her through nursing school, but never once did it cross my mind that this was her fault. There was no way we could’ve known this was coming. She started school over a year ago and with the big move across the country coming up, we just didn’t have the money for the operation.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just bad timing.

In reality, I don’t blame anyone for anything. I won’t. My parents really proved how much they cared about me, by giving up the money they had to help my baby. They did their best to save Remy and really all that’s all I could ask for.
-----

I’ve been okay.

I’ve cried when I needed to. I’ve been comforted by everyone. My dad says he can still feel him with us and I have to agree. I still look for him when I come downstairs in the morning and I swear I’ve seen him running up the stairs at night.

I love him and I miss him.

But I think he’s at peace.

I think that now that he’s not in pain, he’s happier.

And even though it's hard to say goodbye, I'm happy he was active and responding to me the last time I saw him.
I'm happy my mom took me to see him one last time.
I'm happy it was my arms he took his last breath.
I'm happy that he's at rest now.

I love him and miss him.
But at least he's safe now.

Rest in peace, baby.
I love you.

Survey for the Lulz.

2009-04-19T18:02:26Z

You Scored as Wreck-Gar

You are Wreck-Gar. You are good for nothing but garbage! Given life by an allspark fragment you have difficulty deciding what you are, who you are, and what to do.

Wreck-Gar

96%

Blitzwing

92%

Shockwave

83%

Constructicons

79%

Optimus Prime

79%

Soundwave

75%

Lugnut

71%

Starscream

71%

Bumblebee

67%

Wasp

67%

Megatron

67%

Grimlock

67%

Black Arachnia

63%

Prowl

63%

Omega Supreme

58%

Sentinel Prime

58%

Blurr

58%

Bulkhead

54%

Lockdown

54%

Jazz

46%

Ratchet

46%

Ultra Magnus

46%

Swindle

29%

Take quiz here ---> http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/transformers/Kiryugoji/which-transformers-animated-character-are-you/

Origins.

2009-04-19T02:59:41Z

Once upon a time, in a land far far away....
Docotor Lovely was born.
...
And God cried a little. :C

Owl's Nest

See ya later, baby.

Survey for the Lulz.

Origins.